Messy Pages

The Journal of a Messy Mind

Page Ten

Page 10: September 26, 2016

“And I wear my scars like rings on a tree there they are, showing my age and proving where I’ve been so far.”


I’ve tried to keep my feelings known in every aspect of my life. U’ve been doing this ever since high school. In high school I went through a really hard time in my life and I kept my feelings hidden about everything. I got really depressed and I really hated myself and who I was becoming. I pushed everyone who I cared about away and decided to just give up. Eventually it got so bad that I sought help. I promised myself I would never be like that again. I promised I would talk to someone, anyone about everything going on n my life and in my head. I couldn’t go back to the person that I was. I couldn’t do that to myself. So everything that has ever happened to me is either written down somewhere or is known by someone, somewhere. I believe that we are shaped by everything that has ever happened to us. Good or bad. Every single thing that has ever happened to me, I have taken and made myself stronger. I try to look on the brighter side of things, mind you, it doesn’t always work. But I try. I try to be strong for myself and everyone around me because I can’t live my life hiding under my bed. I think I like to be so open about my feelings because if people know what I’m going through, I can’t hide. I’m forcing myself to get up, feel the support, and go on with my life. Even if it isn’t always easy.

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