Messy Pages

The Journal of a Messy Mind

Page Ten

Page 10: September 26, 2016

“And I wear my scars like rings on a tree there they are, showing my age and proving where I’ve been so far.”

-Bayside

I’ve tried to keep my feelings known in every aspect of my life. U’ve been doing this ever since high school. In high school I went through a really hard time in my life and I kept my feelings hidden about everything. I got really depressed and I really hated myself and who I was becoming. I pushed everyone who I cared about away and decided to just give up. Eventually it got so bad that I sought help. I promised myself I would never be like that again. I promised I would talk to someone, anyone about everything going on n my life and in my head. I couldn’t go back to the person that I was. I couldn’t do that to myself. So everything that has ever happened to me is either written down somewhere or is known by someone, somewhere. I believe that we are shaped by everything that has ever happened to us. Good or bad. Every single thing that has ever happened to me, I have taken and made myself stronger. I try to look on the brighter side of things, mind you, it doesn’t always work. But I try. I try to be strong for myself and everyone around me because I can’t live my life hiding under my bed. I think I like to be so open about my feelings because if people know what I’m going through, I can’t hide. I’m forcing myself to get up, feel the support, and go on with my life. Even if it isn’t always easy.

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